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227 definitions by IrishrepublicanarmY

 
1.
1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.

2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of 'need' is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.

3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.

4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.

9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.

10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.

13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an 'on/off' switch.

14. Women think all beer is the same.

15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

16. Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.

17. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

18. Women brush their hair before bed.

19. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.

20. Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.

21. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

22. Women do not know anything about cars. 'Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?'

23. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.

24. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

25. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

26. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

27. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

28. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

29. Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards.

30. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

31. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter.

32. The first naked man women see is 'Ken'.

33. Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.

34. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

35. 'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-
language.

36. Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.

37. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

38. All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.

39. If it is not Valentines Day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a
conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'

40. Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.

41. Did I mention that even after a careful and through explaination to the men in their lives, only women will understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'?

42. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.

43. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)

44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they 'left the seat up' instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

45. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.

46. Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

47. Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.

48. It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay, You don't see straight men dancing together.

49. Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.

50. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!'
Ctrl+C / Ctrl+V
ayon kay IrishRepublicanArmy ika-19 ng Enero, 2004
 
2.
APCO 10-code for "I understand your transmission"
Fairfax to car 459, we've got a 10-50 on 95 south of exit 150

10-4
ayon kay IrishRepublicanArmy ika-24 ng Mayo, 2004
 
3.
Japanese engine manfacturing company that makes more then just cars. Their engines are very relible and well-built, however its nothing special to have one.
Your 2004 Honda Civic has the same specs as my 1995 Ford Contour (hazardmobile) with 103,000 miles on it, yet I would still beat you if we raced due to the drag produced by the 30 pounds of NOS stickers and the 20 pound inverted 747 wing on 3 foot stilts attacthed to the rear of your front-wheel-drive car.

My mom drives a 2001 Honda Accord V6 (proof that NOT ALL imports are 4-bangers, most of them are). It is fun to drive and everything, and looks pretty good, until you slap a sheet metal tube to the exhuast which makes it sound like the 2-stroke yamaha engine on my fishing boat and a 10 foot inverted wing which belongs on a commercial airliner.

I won a race in my Honda, a lawnmower race.

Having a small fuel-saving japanese car is great, until you destroy the engine parts and wheel geometery by 'trick' or 'ricing it out'.
ayon kay IrishRepublicanArmy ika-24 ng Mayo, 2004
 
4.
The male sex hormone, (C19H28O2), screted by the testes, that stimulates the devolpment of the male sex organs as well as the male sex drive.
I'm a 16-year old male, and the testosterone is pretty much flooding my brain.
ayon kay iRishRepublicanaRmy ika-02 ng Enero, 2004
 
5.
The AUXILIARY of the United States Air Force. The Civil Air Patrol performs many missions including Search and Rescue, Disaster Relief and Aerospace Education. The Civil Air Patrol also had ground teams for search and rescue, and average 100 lives saved a year.

The Civil Air Patrol also has the largest fleet of single-engine aircraft in the world, complex VHF-FM and HF-SSB radio systems that allow for interoperabily with navy, air force, marine corps, coast guard, as well as disater relief organizations such as the red cross, FEMA, etc.

The Civil Air Patrol is a national asset that at least does something useful, unlike the ROTC.
CAP owns you.
ayon kay IrishRepublicanArmy ika-16 ng Nobyembre, 2003
 
6.
orginally classified as a "defoliant" but the US Government found out that it is better at killing VC soliders and giving Americans prostate cancer.
Between 1965 and 1970, the United States dropped more then 50,000 tons of Agent Orange on Vietnam.
ayon kay IrishRepublicanArmy ika-03 ng Marso, 2004
 
7.
Halfway between the white market (completely legal) and black market (completely illegal). The gray market sells products which are legal to own, but can be used illegaly or are illegal to use completely.
In Virginia, police radar detectors are gray market items because it is legal to own one, but illegal to actully use it.
ayon kay IrishRepublicanArmy ika-05 ng Hunyo, 2004