Nobody knows how Hello Kitty works, but there is no denying the tragic consequences of its use: millions of fad-crazed zombies (the "Wapanese") now trod the earth, their rational faculties obliterated by an overpowering instinct to embrace Japanese pop culture. Furthermore, they sap the economies of the Western nations by purchasing boundless amounts of worthless Japanese kitsch. With proof of the Kitty's efficacy, the Japanese have subsequently deployed even more potent mind-control weapons, including Pokemon and Dragonball Z.
Doctors warn that even low-level exposure to Hello Kitty may cause a perfectly sound mind to crack. Anyone who accidently catches sight of this Kitty (an anthropomorphic cat having a hairbow and no mouth) is advised to seek psychotherapy at once and to report the sighting to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security for immediate liquidation.