Top Definition
A knife with a handle longer than most blades, and a thin, long, staight-edged blade. Used for hacking away at foliage in front of the weilder.
Hello, my name is Jason Vorhees, I wear a hockey mask, and I am a machete-killer addict
ayon kay Gumba Gumba ika-12 ng Abril, 2004

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spanish word for fucking big ass knife
dude isnt that fucking big ass knife you have a machete
ayon kay vayne arelius ika-13 ng Pebrero, 2010

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a long knife, used for hacking your way through the jungle. also the most awesome zombie killing tool ever.
Shit, theres zombies outside. wheres my machete
ayon kay ltdelicious ika-03 ng Mayo, 2009

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Machete is the most bad ass movie ever created. It is about Machete, and ex-Federale who is a legend to all Mexican-Americans, being betrayed by a company who hired him off of the street to assassinate Senator John McLaughlin. All out war is declared and Machete's Mexican-American army kick some fucking balls off. Also includes Lyndsay Lohan's tits.
Guy 1-Dude! Did you see Machete?

Guy 2- Hell ya! I jerked off so hard to Lindsay Lohan's tits!
ayon kay skown ika-18 ng Pebrero, 2011

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A chunk of sharp metal fitted with a handle that would cause any poor bastard a world of pain
did you know jason has a machete
ayon kay RET ika-21 ng Setyembre, 2004

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Something you pull on 10 guys wanting to jump you in the parking lot of a BP. Usually with an 18 inch blade and a thick hard plastic handle.
*Van pulls up and a gaggle of people jump out*
Jesse: Are you the fuckers I am supposed to whip the shit out of?
Me: HEY! Fuck you guys you are bringing 10 guys?!!? Well, this makes it even Jesse, Me, and this machete
*Van pulls away with quite a quickness*
ayon kay P. Kaltenbach ika-11 ng Enero, 2008

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when a man is about to ejaculate, he pulls out of her anus and in a chopping motion slaps the girl in the face as he is ejaculating.
hey dude, i got pissed off at your mom yesterday so i went ahead and gave her a machete.
ayon kay fat cobra ika-27 ng Abril, 2007

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