1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.

2.) The reason why people buy playboys.

3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.

4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.

5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.
The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement
ayon kay Jake ika-22 ng Abril, 2005
erotic stimulation especially of one's own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies
From Latin word masturbatus
"I like to masturbate when i cant get laid"
ayon kay Tucker ika-20 ng Abril, 2004
to rub against your private parts until you cum.
I love to masturbate.i rubbed my pussy hard and imagined riding on top of her hips. licking her breasts and kissing her. I rubbed and rubbed, moaning and sighing. i was so wet and ready to come, masturbating is fun! suddenly my friend burst in and saw me. "what are you doing!?" she cried. "Masturbating, and fantasizing about you."i replied. Then she came over and started rubbing my pussy and then i came all over her hands.
ayon kay christineee666 ika-21 ng Nobyembre, 2007
When your 5 finger fiance gives you a bit of a knob-job. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE does it does it but still people are embarrassed by it. It SHOULD be that if you didn't masturbate it was sick or weird, not the other way around! I do it, I know another guy that does it, and I am very sure that everyone else in my school does it. Note: Do it, it feels soooooo great. P.s. for extra pleasure use lubricant and watch hardcore porn while you do it this way you get great pleasure and an AMAZING orgasm!
Me and ***** were in my house by ourselves so we went on the net and watched some porn...then we masturbated and neither of us felt embarrassed.
ayon kay fapperface ika-21 ng Hunyo, 2005
to play with yourself
i like to masturbate at the movie theater
ayon kay boomer2 ika-28 ng Hulyo, 2003
Guys- To rapidly yank your crank.
Chicks- To use variouse toys and satisfy yourself, or an electric toothbrush.
It is quite understandable.
ayon kay Maddie ika-17 ng Abril, 2005
to sexually pleasure one's self.
TO MASTURBATE
girl:

first read the example of sex (#4) or something else, like porn, to make you horny. Next, lick at least two of your fingers, the more there are the better it feels, and stick them in your pussy, rub them around and make sure that you are wet. Once you are wet, use those fingers to rub your pussy in a circular motion, I prefer hard and fast. If you have an electric toothbrush, use the vibrating bristles to rub your clit. Keep rubbing until you orgasm. Trust me you will be glad you did.

Guys:

Pull up and down on the shaft of your penis as hard as you like, rub it until you cum and orgasm.
ayon kay hornygirl! ika-15 ng Abril, 2007
Here's more: Again, to grease the rod, to squash the bug, to shake hands with your penis, to squeeze the eclair, to fuck oneself, to awaken the slumbering giant, to flick the dick, to practice ju-dick-su, to train oneself in kung-penis, to play one's oboe, to rob the sperm bank, as well as take out a loan from one's sperm bank, to make your elephant laugh so hard that he squirts milk through his trunk, to shoot the shit, to cockadoodledoo, to make your worm sneeze, to visit the fountain of youth, to take a trip to Mexico with only one pair of underwear, to spray the butter, to spray the Cool-Whip, to get your "smack" on, to pump the hydrant, to evacuate one's testicles, to question the Mauve Avenger, to do the math, to calculate pi, to pleasure oneself manually, to practice stick-shift, to open the stairway to heaven, to save the whale, to squirt the mayonnaise, to attempt to reach orgasm in solitude (although not always), to climb/hike up pleasure mountain,to slap the Puerto Rican, to pour the salad dressing, to give an angel its wing, to kill a mockingbird. And there are still more to come (pun intended)!
Ah, masturbation....
ayon kay Master Chesco ika-21 ng Abril, 2004
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