Top Definition
when the turtle head of ones faeces pretudes to the extent that it touches the cloth which comprises ones underwear. A crude expression with a mighty impact.
-"I am ever so glad i wore baggy boxer shorts today".
-"really egbert why is that".
-well humbert to be quite frank i am touching cloth.
-oh you are desperate to empty your bowels and are finding it hard to keep the turtles head under reigns.
-quite, and now i am afraid the turtles head has broken through my anal gates and is causing one great discomfort.
-i see, well it is lucky you are wearing spacious boxer shorts for if you were wearing y fronts the turtle may have been crushed resulting in a mess in ones pants.
-never mind i am starting to quite enjoy the sensation it is similar to when you insert your penis through my cheeks to the brown.
-oh well i dont know why you are complaining in that case it would be more like a terrapin head as my penis is terribly small due to the inbred nature of my family.
-dont beat yourself up you make up for it with your 11 fingers.
ayon kay gallipoli ika-12 ng Disyembre, 2004

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A saying that is used when someone has waited FAR too long to have a shit. It
verbalises the possible condition that the lead end of a shit has protruded beyond the opening of the anus and has made contact with their undergarment.
I need to find a bathroom right now.. I'm TOUCHING CLOTH
ayon kay Iam Hawk ika-14 ng Enero, 2008

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When the prairrie dog pops it head out of the burrow and is almost headbutting the undergarments.The time immediately preceeding the arrival of a brown trout
fuck i'm touching cloth.We'd better find a toilet soon or i'll lay a nest of dogs eggs in my fucking strides
ayon kay Matt ika-29 ng Pebrero, 2004

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When you are struggling to hold in a poo, and its tip has breached the sphincter and is touching your underwear.
Dude, I've gotta get to a toilet quick, I'm touching cloth here!
ayon kay jambomuffin ika-23 ng Marso, 2009

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When the head of your brown trout is appearing unbidden on-deck. When the nose of the turtle's head is beginning to rub on the undergarments you are currently wearing.
I'm sorry your Majesty, I may have to leave abruptly as I'm touching cloth...
ayon kay Surgeon_General and Steed ika-26 ng Abril, 2003

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When you're about to drop a deuce and your struggling to hold it in, the tip or your shit-log pokes out and touches the fabric of your undergarment.
Matt- I'm busting for a shit so bad I'm touching cloth. Can I cut in front of you for the stall?

Joe- Yeah, but only if I can poke it back in with my cock?

Matt- Deal!
ayon kay Squiads 187 ika-06 ng Agosto, 2010

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When you have to poop really bad and you can barely hold it in. So bad the poop is touching your underwear or is close to it.
you: Man do I have to take a dump really bad. I don't think I can hold it in.
me: Are you "touching cloth"? Ewwwww
ayon kay ugokucky ika-09 ng Disyembre, 2010

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