Owner and GM of the Dallas Cowboys. Also believes himself to be God.
Does a "fantabulous" job at assembling teams made up of felons, thugs, mercenaries, crack addicts, ex-cons and the like. However, doesn't do so well when it comes to assembling teams that succeed.
Recently opened a new Cowboys stadium to try and divert attention away from the fact that the team hasn't been able to win one single playoff game in thirteen years. So far it's worked as the most gullible, inbred, illiterate, and intoxicated people you'd ever meet (aka Cowboys fans), remain firm in their belief that "this season will be the one!"
Hobbies: Undermining his Head Coach's authority, buying things so people will like him (but profiting at the same time), receiving plastic surgery, fixing NFL schedules, being seen on the sidelines with Terrell Owens to show he's "down with the bruthas!"
Best Known For: Giving away high draft picks and then shopping at nearby Dallas County Jail to fill out the roster.
Typical Cowboy Fan #1: You see dat dem goat over there? Boy I'd love to $%&* it good! Whoo-ee!
Typical Cowboy Fan #2: Shucks, dat ain't no goat! It's Jerry Jones!
Typical Coyboy Fan #1: Oh. Well ne'rmind then.
Prices shown in USD.
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